you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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