The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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