i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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