I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
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