He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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