i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize