i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
don't judge my taste in strippers
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize