good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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