What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just had sex bonerless
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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