Where are you?
In a non slutty way
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize