Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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