i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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