Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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