Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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