His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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