Im at strip club and am horny
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize