I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize