and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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