is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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