Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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