True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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