I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize