whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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