i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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