I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize