So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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