I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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