I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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