My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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