Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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