jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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