No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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