This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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