with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
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Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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