There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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