ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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