My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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