One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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