Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
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its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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