he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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