YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize