I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You left your phone here
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