So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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