what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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