I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
don't judge my taste in strippers
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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