he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize