Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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