help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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