There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize