you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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