Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize